This month I watched more films then I read books so I shall introduce what the films first. You avid readers may be disappointed in my tomes of choice this month as they are very few. Only three or four books. Well, one was a monster of an epic that was well over 900 pages - that did take a little while to read. But I will get to books in my next post. Here's what I treated to my eyes to in the month of April:
THE HAPPENING (2008) - I keep giving director M. Night Shyalaman the benefit of the doubt but after "The Sixth Sense", he has yet to make another decent film. Do you remember "Unbreakable" with Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson? Started off okay, but the climax turned out to be pretty lame. "Signs" with Mel Gibson? Oh my, the climax of beating an alien with a baseball bat - please! "The Village" - overprotective parents create their own commune away from life's reality - in this day and age. Where's my "gag with me a spoon". I skipped out on "Lady of the Lake". And now we have “The Happening”. The premise started out pretty well. People were dropping dead all over New York for no apparent reason. Could it be a terrorist attack with some kind of new chemical weapon? A weapon which makes people want to commit suicide? But alas, when the truth is revealed you will probably want to take a bat to M. Night Shyalaman as well for giving us another turkey. He’s a definite winner for a Razzy as one of the worst directors. The threat to humans? Plants!! Yeah, plants are fighting back against humans who are not taking care of the earth. God, this was so bad. If Shyalaman wanted to make a film about plants overtaking the world and the humans who inhabit it, he should have just tried adapting John Wyndams’s excellent novel “The Day of the Triffids”. Oh, I imagine I will watch his next film to see what kind of lame climax he has in store for us again. Add this to your collection of bad movies made by director’s who’ve only made one or two decent films – like Gus Van Zant’s and his waste of Matt Damon in “Gerry”.
MONSTER HOUSE (2006) – This is how an animated film should be. Funny and intelligent minus those sickly sweet songs that Disney films are known for. DJ and his buddy Chowder were playing with Chowder’s new basketball when it inadvertently fell into their neighbor Nebbercracker’s lawn. And Nebbercracker is a mean old codger who yells at people to keep off his lawn. But it seems there is a bigger secret to Nebbercracker and his lawn. It’s his house. The house really is a monster and will attack and consume whatever comes near it. Although the house is rumored to be haunted, DJ and Chowder have seen it at work, but nobody will believe their story. They take it upon themselves to rid the neighborhood of this evil.
KUNG FU PANDA (2008) – And even more animation to keep you entertained featuring the voices of Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, Lucy Liu and a host of others. Overweight Panda Po is obsessed with the martial arts. He does not want to be a noodle maker for the rest of his life. By chance (or is it fate), Po is chosen to become the new Dragon Warrior, much to the annoyance of the Furious Five, who are his idols. When the evil snow leopard Tai Lung escapes from his prison and head to the Valley of Peace, it is only the Dragon Warrior who can stop him. Can a big, overweight panda take on the swift and cunning Tai Lung? Go rent this and find out. You will be entertained.
SHOOT ‘EM UP (2007) – OMG! This was just too much fun. Only for action movie fans! I lost caught of the bodies after a hundred or so. Anyway, Clive Owen was just minding his own business when he sees this woman being chased by a gang of armed men. He sighs and then decides to help the poor woman. He gets a surprise as he finds that she’s pregnant and is about to give birth (which she does) but gets shot in the head. The goons want to kill the baby as well but Clive takes it upon himself to save the little guy and finds that he has now become the target of these unknown goons led by an evil and annoying Paul Giamatti (the wine connoisseur from “Sideways”). I haven’t had this much fun watching flick since Jason Statham’s “Crank”. Its nonstop action from start to finish.
TROPIC THUNDER (2008) – Silly, mindless movie from Ben Stiller with Jack Black, Nick Nolte, Robert Downey Jr. and even Tom Cruise (who I didn’t even recognize). Vietnam vet is having his bestselling book adapted for the silver screen. Unfortunately, all the actors are little prima donnas who have their own entourage and are not taking the film seriously, and the producer is about to pull the plug on the entire production, which means the director will also be out of a job. The vet suggests sending those pansy actors out in the real jungle for a bit of realism. Which is what the director does, but the actors are unknowingly set in area where an illicit drug plant is. The actors think the drug makers are more actors, the drug makers think the actors are the DEA, and well, it turns out that the Vietnam vet had made up his entire story about his experience. This was mildly entertaining but not as funny as the previews made it out to be. Save it for a rainy day.
BURN AFTER READING (2009) – After the Oscar winning film “No Country for Old Men” which I thought sucked by the way (the ending anyway) comes a new film from the Coen Brothers. But before I go any further, I want you all to know that I don’t blame Ethan or Joel for the unsatisfying ending of “No Country” – that would have to go to the writer of the original novel Cormac McCarthy. I read the book too and felt that McCarthy wrote it as violent as he could make it just for violence sakes but had no idea how to make a great ending. Too bad too. But now the Coen revert back to what they really know – dark comedy. John Malkovich has been demoted at his job with the Company so he quits and decides to write his memoir. George Clooney is a married man who continues having an affair with any willing dame. Brad Pitt is the goofiest dork who goes to extreme lengths to help out his friend and co-worker Frances McDormand who wants money for plastic surgery because she feels without it, it’s not worth living. Brad finds a disc belonging to Malkovich and believes there’s “secret shit” on it so he and McDormand try to blackmail Malkovich into giving them money to get it back. And to tell you the truth, you’re better off renting “Fargo” again than watching this. As with “Tropic Thunder”, the previews made it seem funnier than it was. But hey, it was a lot better than “No Country” but I doubt that it will be nominated for an Oscar.
RAIN FALL (2009) – I’ve been waiting a long time for this film to come to the silver screen. But perhaps because this film was mostly a Japanese production, it just doesn’t have the same level of action as a Hollywood feature. The story is based on the book by Barry Eisler and was directed by Max Mannix. It stars Kippei Shiina and Kyoko Hasegawa, along with Gary Oldman. It just isn’t as intense as the actual novels. But still, I enjoyed it, being a big fan of Barry Eisler’s book. I’m hoping that the movie will do well so there will be sequels, but next time, I hope Hollywood decides to make it. There was nothing wrong with Hasegawa or Kippei’s acting, it’s just the lack of action that fans of the books might be disappointed in. John Rain is a half-Japanese, half-American hitman who makes all his hits look as if they were accidents. His latest target was a government bureaucrat (who’s acting my wife found was worse beyond anything) who had a memory stick that not only does the CIA want but so does a bunch of Yakuza – and now they all think either John Rain or the daughter of the dead bureaucrat, Midori (Hasegawa). Rain decides to protect Midori against a host of baddies and also decides to find out why the CIA wants this particular memory stick so badly. Of course, you’re better off reading the novel if you want more depth.
BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER (2002) – Another mindless but fun action film with Antonia Banderas and Lucy Liu. Lots of guns and explosions and just over the top Hollywood stuff. The story. Some covert government agency (isn’t there always one, it’s the DIA in this film – whatever that supposed to stand for). And they have created a new weapon, but the secret to the weapon is inside the big baddies son (who’s not really his son but his stepson), are you following this? Anyway, mysterious woman (Lucy Liu) is out to kill the big baddie. Now, Banderas is an FBI agent (huh?) is also in on the game. I forget why but who cares. Oh, and his wife who he believed had died is still alive and is currently the big baddie’s wife, which makes the kid his (are you still following this?). We find that Liu is pissed off at the big baddy because he had her innocent child and now she’s one pissed off former DIA agent (oh, did I forget to mention that?). Damn, I love action flicks!!
27 DRESSES (2008) – Standard and predictable but fun to watch rom-com. The story here, well you know the cliché – “always a bride’s maid but never the bride”. This just takes it to the extreme as the heroine has been a bride’s maid 27 times. The love interest – guy who hates weddings and commitments (hey, imagine that) but writes for a wedding column in the local paper. I can tell you can already see where this is going. But hey, it will still put a smile on your face.
CIDADE DOS HOMENS (2007) English title [CITY OF MEN] – The ads I saw made this out to be a sequel of “City of God”, the excellent Brazilian film about a boy growing up in the slums of Rio and becoming a famous photographer. The only thing this film has in common with “City of God” is Douglas Silva – as a young man who lives in the slums of Rio. Hey wait, isn’t that the same film? Actually, this was a pretty decent film, so you do not have to watch “City of God” to enjoy this. Best buds Acerola and Laranjinha are about to turn eighteen. Actually, I don’t think I’m doing this film justice so I will just borrow the review from IMDb from a Brazilian living in Rio: In the slum in Morro da Sinuca, a couple of days before turning eighteen year-old, Laranjinha tells his best friend and also orphan Acerola that he misses his unknown father. Acerola decides to help his needy friend to find his father and they discover that he is in prison convicted for killing a man during a robbery and near to be released on parole. Meanwhile, Acerola's wife and babysitter Cris is invited to work in São Paulo and she sees the chance to raise money to buy a house of her own; she tells Acerola that he must take care of their son Clayton alone for one year. When the owner of the hill and Laranjinha's cousin Madrugadão is betrayed by his right-hand Nefasto, he is expelled from the slum and Laranjinha and Acerola have also to leave the hill. While Madrugadão plots a plan to invade and recover the hill with the support of the gang of the drug lord from Morro do Careca, Acerola and Laranjinha unravel the past of their fathers.
ザ・マジック・アワー (2008) International English Title: [THE MAGIC HOUR] – The current king of Japanese comedy is definetly Koki Mitani. The man who brought us the wonderful “The Wow Choten Hotel”, “Welcome Back, Mr. McDonald” (English titles by the way). In his latest, which is also full of top Japanese stars, the big yakuza boss is about to get rid of his mistress and one of his underlings as they’ve been seeing each other behind his back. But the boss says he will reconsider if the underling can bring him the assassin who was hired to kill him. Underling says of course he will – but what he does is hire an unknown actor to pretend to be the hitman and tells the guy he’s making his film as real as possible so there is no script. Actor takes to his role not realizing that he really is dealing with the big Yakuza boss and not other actors. Lots and lots of laughs!! For you Japanese film buffs, this stars Koichi Sato, Satoshi Tsumabuki, Eri Fukatsu, Haruka Ayase, Toshiyuki Nishida, just to name a few. Also a lot of cameos from a bunch of other different stars.
MONSTER HOUSE (2006) – This is how an animated film should be. Funny and intelligent minus those sickly sweet songs that Disney films are known for. DJ and his buddy Chowder were playing with Chowder’s new basketball when it inadvertently fell into their neighbor Nebbercracker’s lawn. And Nebbercracker is a mean old codger who yells at people to keep off his lawn. But it seems there is a bigger secret to Nebbercracker and his lawn. It’s his house. The house really is a monster and will attack and consume whatever comes near it. Although the house is rumored to be haunted, DJ and Chowder have seen it at work, but nobody will believe their story. They take it upon themselves to rid the neighborhood of this evil.
KUNG FU PANDA (2008) – And even more animation to keep you entertained featuring the voices of Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, Lucy Liu and a host of others. Overweight Panda Po is obsessed with the martial arts. He does not want to be a noodle maker for the rest of his life. By chance (or is it fate), Po is chosen to become the new Dragon Warrior, much to the annoyance of the Furious Five, who are his idols. When the evil snow leopard Tai Lung escapes from his prison and head to the Valley of Peace, it is only the Dragon Warrior who can stop him. Can a big, overweight panda take on the swift and cunning Tai Lung? Go rent this and find out. You will be entertained.
DU LEVANDE (2007) English title: [YOU, THE LIVING] – A Swedish film by director Roy Andersson. A quirky and mildly funny movie that loses steam less than half-way through it. I really don’t know what the director was trying say. Even though I managed to watch the entire thing, I came to the conclusion that this wasn’t all that funny and was more of a waste of time than anything. I feel I was mislead by the summary on the back of the package. Supposedly about regular people living their ordinary lives. The young girl who yearns for the rock star. The woman who reminds me of the “Black Cloud” – sorry, inside joke there, as she complains to everyone and no one. As I write this and think about the film more, I would have to say it sucks!
SHOOT ‘EM UP (2007) – OMG! This was just too much fun. Only for action movie fans! I lost caught of the bodies after a hundred or so. Anyway, Clive Owen was just minding his own business when he sees this woman being chased by a gang of armed men. He sighs and then decides to help the poor woman. He gets a surprise as he finds that she’s pregnant and is about to give birth (which she does) but gets shot in the head. The goons want to kill the baby as well but Clive takes it upon himself to save the little guy and finds that he has now become the target of these unknown goons led by an evil and annoying Paul Giamatti (the wine connoisseur from “Sideways”). I haven’t had this much fun watching flick since Jason Statham’s “Crank”. Its nonstop action from start to finish.
TROPIC THUNDER (2008) – Silly, mindless movie from Ben Stiller with Jack Black, Nick Nolte, Robert Downey Jr. and even Tom Cruise (who I didn’t even recognize). Vietnam vet is having his bestselling book adapted for the silver screen. Unfortunately, all the actors are little prima donnas who have their own entourage and are not taking the film seriously, and the producer is about to pull the plug on the entire production, which means the director will also be out of a job. The vet suggests sending those pansy actors out in the real jungle for a bit of realism. Which is what the director does, but the actors are unknowingly set in area where an illicit drug plant is. The actors think the drug makers are more actors, the drug makers think the actors are the DEA, and well, it turns out that the Vietnam vet had made up his entire story about his experience. This was mildly entertaining but not as funny as the previews made it out to be. Save it for a rainy day.
BURN AFTER READING (2009) – After the Oscar winning film “No Country for Old Men” which I thought sucked by the way (the ending anyway) comes a new film from the Coen Brothers. But before I go any further, I want you all to know that I don’t blame Ethan or Joel for the unsatisfying ending of “No Country” – that would have to go to the writer of the original novel Cormac McCarthy. I read the book too and felt that McCarthy wrote it as violent as he could make it just for violence sakes but had no idea how to make a great ending. Too bad too. But now the Coen revert back to what they really know – dark comedy. John Malkovich has been demoted at his job with the Company so he quits and decides to write his memoir. George Clooney is a married man who continues having an affair with any willing dame. Brad Pitt is the goofiest dork who goes to extreme lengths to help out his friend and co-worker Frances McDormand who wants money for plastic surgery because she feels without it, it’s not worth living. Brad finds a disc belonging to Malkovich and believes there’s “secret shit” on it so he and McDormand try to blackmail Malkovich into giving them money to get it back. And to tell you the truth, you’re better off renting “Fargo” again than watching this. As with “Tropic Thunder”, the previews made it seem funnier than it was. But hey, it was a lot better than “No Country” but I doubt that it will be nominated for an Oscar.
RAIN FALL (2009) – I’ve been waiting a long time for this film to come to the silver screen. But perhaps because this film was mostly a Japanese production, it just doesn’t have the same level of action as a Hollywood feature. The story is based on the book by Barry Eisler and was directed by Max Mannix. It stars Kippei Shiina and Kyoko Hasegawa, along with Gary Oldman. It just isn’t as intense as the actual novels. But still, I enjoyed it, being a big fan of Barry Eisler’s book. I’m hoping that the movie will do well so there will be sequels, but next time, I hope Hollywood decides to make it. There was nothing wrong with Hasegawa or Kippei’s acting, it’s just the lack of action that fans of the books might be disappointed in. John Rain is a half-Japanese, half-American hitman who makes all his hits look as if they were accidents. His latest target was a government bureaucrat (who’s acting my wife found was worse beyond anything) who had a memory stick that not only does the CIA want but so does a bunch of Yakuza – and now they all think either John Rain or the daughter of the dead bureaucrat, Midori (Hasegawa). Rain decides to protect Midori against a host of baddies and also decides to find out why the CIA wants this particular memory stick so badly. Of course, you’re better off reading the novel if you want more depth.
BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER (2002) – Another mindless but fun action film with Antonia Banderas and Lucy Liu. Lots of guns and explosions and just over the top Hollywood stuff. The story. Some covert government agency (isn’t there always one, it’s the DIA in this film – whatever that supposed to stand for). And they have created a new weapon, but the secret to the weapon is inside the big baddies son (who’s not really his son but his stepson), are you following this? Anyway, mysterious woman (Lucy Liu) is out to kill the big baddie. Now, Banderas is an FBI agent (huh?) is also in on the game. I forget why but who cares. Oh, and his wife who he believed had died is still alive and is currently the big baddie’s wife, which makes the kid his (are you still following this?). We find that Liu is pissed off at the big baddy because he had her innocent child and now she’s one pissed off former DIA agent (oh, did I forget to mention that?). Damn, I love action flicks!!
27 DRESSES (2008) – Standard and predictable but fun to watch rom-com. The story here, well you know the cliché – “always a bride’s maid but never the bride”. This just takes it to the extreme as the heroine has been a bride’s maid 27 times. The love interest – guy who hates weddings and commitments (hey, imagine that) but writes for a wedding column in the local paper. I can tell you can already see where this is going. But hey, it will still put a smile on your face.
CIDADE DOS HOMENS (2007) English title [CITY OF MEN] – The ads I saw made this out to be a sequel of “City of God”, the excellent Brazilian film about a boy growing up in the slums of Rio and becoming a famous photographer. The only thing this film has in common with “City of God” is Douglas Silva – as a young man who lives in the slums of Rio. Hey wait, isn’t that the same film? Actually, this was a pretty decent film, so you do not have to watch “City of God” to enjoy this. Best buds Acerola and Laranjinha are about to turn eighteen. Actually, I don’t think I’m doing this film justice so I will just borrow the review from IMDb from a Brazilian living in Rio: In the slum in Morro da Sinuca, a couple of days before turning eighteen year-old, Laranjinha tells his best friend and also orphan Acerola that he misses his unknown father. Acerola decides to help his needy friend to find his father and they discover that he is in prison convicted for killing a man during a robbery and near to be released on parole. Meanwhile, Acerola's wife and babysitter Cris is invited to work in São Paulo and she sees the chance to raise money to buy a house of her own; she tells Acerola that he must take care of their son Clayton alone for one year. When the owner of the hill and Laranjinha's cousin Madrugadão is betrayed by his right-hand Nefasto, he is expelled from the slum and Laranjinha and Acerola have also to leave the hill. While Madrugadão plots a plan to invade and recover the hill with the support of the gang of the drug lord from Morro do Careca, Acerola and Laranjinha unravel the past of their fathers.
ザ・マジック・アワー (2008) International English Title: [THE MAGIC HOUR] – The current king of Japanese comedy is definetly Koki Mitani. The man who brought us the wonderful “The Wow Choten Hotel”, “Welcome Back, Mr. McDonald” (English titles by the way). In his latest, which is also full of top Japanese stars, the big yakuza boss is about to get rid of his mistress and one of his underlings as they’ve been seeing each other behind his back. But the boss says he will reconsider if the underling can bring him the assassin who was hired to kill him. Underling says of course he will – but what he does is hire an unknown actor to pretend to be the hitman and tells the guy he’s making his film as real as possible so there is no script. Actor takes to his role not realizing that he really is dealing with the big Yakuza boss and not other actors. Lots and lots of laughs!! For you Japanese film buffs, this stars Koichi Sato, Satoshi Tsumabuki, Eri Fukatsu, Haruka Ayase, Toshiyuki Nishida, just to name a few. Also a lot of cameos from a bunch of other different stars.
And so ends another month of Ern's movie watching. Hope you enjoyed it. Already have two movies on deck ready to be watched - "Body of Lies" and "The Pineapple Express". After finishing work tomorrow I will be in the midst of "Golden Week". It's the long holiday in Japan. I won't be back to work until next Thursday.
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